"Once I figured out the French lifestyle, I enjoyed the slow-paced meals and the delicate portions of beautifully prepared foods, I walked everywhere and found the French people friendly."

- Be aware that meals are not an eating frenzy, they are an occasion. Yes, each one. Enjoy dining alone or with company in a happy, relaxed atmosphere and adopt their joie de vivre (joy of life).

- If you opt for the "prix fixe", Tourist Meal or Menu of the Day, consider this your main meal. It's good value and includes a baguette, salad, entrée, dessert and wine. Expect small portions.

- Make one meal the main meal, usually lunches. Then plan simple breakfasts and evening meals.

- Leave room for the salad, which may arrive after the meal.

- Eat half the amount of bread you would in the US. Break off a 2" piece of baguette and eat with your meal. This takes practice and willpower because it's deliciously fresh. Fortunately butter is not served and margarine is not around at all.

- Finish your vegetables at meals and choose fruit for snacks. Vegetables and fruits contain heart and cancer fighting anti-oxidants and they fill you up.

- Accept the small portions. After three days you'll get to understand the meaning of our "eating in moderation" recommendation. For example, a small frozen yogurt in the US is the size of the French extra-large, if they have one.

- If a small, one oz. serving of sorbet appears between courses, enjoy. It's to cleanse the palate; it's not the dessert.

- Become fussy, only eat the foods that taste good and don't settle for foods that are not exciting to you. This might be tough.

- Request water with gas or still, don't expect ice. Wine is more likely to be offered.

- Ask if they have "diet" or "lite" drinks or sweeteners, they won't always be available.

- Eat without cleanliness concerns, the food is definitely safe to eat and hygienically prepared.

Times of meals

Breakfast 7 AM

Coffee 10 AM if at all

Lunch 12 - 2 PM

Dinner after 7 PM at home, after 8 PM in restaurants.

Room Service

If you're hungry at odd hours, good hotels have 24-hour room service - order something small: a sandwich, roll, salad or fruit salad.

In smaller hotels, inns or bed & breakfasts, plan ahead. Stores are seldom open 24 hours a day. Buy whole-wheat crackers, cheese and fresh fruit for your room. If you get to the ravenous stage and food is not available, distract yourself by taking a warm bath or planning tomorrow's activities.

Portion sizes

3-oz (90 g) is the size of a deck of cards

(30 g) is the size of a medium thumb (compare with friends)

1 kilo is 2.2 pounds

250 ml = 250 g = 8 oz = 1 cup

Eating Don'ts

- Limit dishes using butter and cream or cooked with lard, goose or duck fat. US healthy ideas about low fat cooking methods have not made it across the sea.

- No more guilt feelings, self-denial or bland foods.

- Limit cheese and patés to 2 oz. per day.

- Avoid American-style food chain restaurants.

- Don't order seconds.

- Don't ask for salt and pepper. The chef has seasoned the food the way it should taste.

- Limit coffee, espresso, cappuccinos and tea to four a day (this is the maximum and will be difficult to stick to).

Five big shocks

1. High prices.

2. Everyone smokes.

3. Dogs are actually more welcome in restaurants than children. You will notice how "chic" and well trained they are.

4. Best intentions are sabotaged: "I had to keep focused to maintain my weight. Everything was high in fat! I ordered a salad, fought with the waiter to have the dressing on the side, and it still arrived with a blob of mayonnaise in the middle."

5. There is no drinking age. Don't be surprised to see wine being served to children. The proportion of French aged 14 to 25 who didn't drink wine in 1980 was 48%, today it's 70%. Young people now prefer to drink beer.

The "French Paradox"

The French suffer 40 percent fewer heart attacks than Americans do. This phenomena has puzzled scientists as many French people smoke and consume a diet high in animal (saturated) fats, habits which are considered risk factors for heart disease. The reason for their heart health is believed to be due to other aspects of their diet such as:

- The high intake of vegetables and fruits.

- They spend two hours eating their meals. I feel that the slow pace, relaxed feeling and the socializing during meals reduces their stress level.

- Smaller portions, particularly the meat servings.

- The abundant use of oils, especially in the south where heart disease is uncommon, resulting in less hardening of the arteries.

- The regular use of alcohol, particularly red wine, containing anti-oxidants.

- Brisk walking on a daily basis.

- And my own conclusion: being fashion-conscious and appreciating good style motivates them to keep a healthy weight.

The relaxed French attitude

"The French have one car, one television, one phone and don't spend their time chasing material possessions, which means they have less pressure and stress. They thought it was horrible that our business hours were so long. This meant less time to spend with the family. If they were given a choice of working overtime or not working, they would prefer to go for a walk in the woods."

"I missed my American breakfasts. I found the other two meals to be so much higher in fat than I was used to; at first I felt full and nauseous after each meal. The sooner I converted to the French way of eating, the faster I adapted. I ate when they did; I had extremely small portions of everything; I did not skip meals; I drank plenty of water; and I slept when they did. Then I returned home to the US, and found our food and consumption patterns troubling."

Breakfast Do's

In a westernized hotel, choose:

- Cereal and milk; you may notice that neither are enriched

- Boiled egg and toast

- Plus fruit and coffee

In traditional hotels and restaurants, you'll have less choice:

- Bread, jam and coffee

- Buy fruit from a supermarket and eat as a morning snack

In a café:

- Tartine: 8" piece of the long slim baguette (French bread), with a light scraping of butter and jam. Ask for pain de campagne (whole wheat), pain complet (whole grain) or pain a six céréales (six grains). You may find darker breads in the Jewish quarter or boulangeries.

- Café au lait, made with whole milk. If you ask for non-fat or skim milk and they understand what you want, you'll have them rolling in the aisles with laughter. You won't find low fat dairy products, even at crémeries.

In Bed & Breakfasts:

A continental breakfast of black espresso, café au lait or tea, bread (whole wheat if available); be sure to spread butter and jam thinly.

Breakfast Don'ts

- In westernized hotels, avoid fried omelets, bacon, sausage and hashed browns - too American and certainly not part of your French experience.

- Avoid croissants; perhaps once a week at a decadent brunch.

- Minimize sugar in coffee.

- Chocolate drinks are too rich.

- All hope is not lost; their Ministry of Health is promoting a better breakfast such as cereal, milk, fruit and coffee.

Lunch Do's

Appetizers:

- Bouillon, broth or vegetable soups - made with fresh herbs and requiring less salt or fat for flavor.

- Salad, usually served with little dressing.

- Steamed foods such as clams or mussels.

The main course:

- Order main courses that are steamed, broiled, baked, roasted or poached, prepared au jus (in its own juice), tomato juice, white wine or lemon juice.

- Keep to 3-oz servings of meat, fish or chicken (much smaller than the US).

- Choose fish three times a week.

- Fruits de mer is seafood, not fruit. If you order sauce on the side, the chef may refuse to feed you. Sauces have become less fatty. Don't mop up the sauce with your bread if you see fat globules swimming in the sauce.

- Fish may be served with the head and tail and you may want to ask for help.

- Order lower fat cuts of meat such as filet mignon and onglet (flank steak).

- With chops, cut off visible fat.

- Be warned, steak tartare is ground beef served raw.

- With poulet roti (roast chicken) or caille rotie (roast quail), take off the skin.

- Steamed rice or boiled/baked potato.

- Eat your vegetables, even though they are overcooked, soft and served with butter. Try their popular mushroom dishes.

- If your food lacks flavor without sauces, add Dijon mustard; a French tradition and virtually no calories.

Lunch Express menu: one glass of wine (may result in afternoon sleepiness), entrée and coffee.

Light Meals: on the run or after a late breakfast

- Salad composé: small salads arranged beautifully.

- Grande salade: a larger salad.

- Salad nicoise or chevre chaud (warm goat cheese) are hearty salads.

- Cheese, chicken or fish with salad.

- Lentil or bean salad.

- For vegans: tofu, soy drinks and organic grains and vegetables are available at Jardin de vie or Veggie stores.

Fast Foods:

- Vegetable crepes at a creperie stand, with interesting fillings, such as cucumbers, red beans and corn.

- A small quiche and fruit.

- A spinach soufflé with bread and fruit.

Time to be even more French?

Make a sandwich. Pack a knife and picnic in the park. One slice meat or piece of chicken from the charcuterie or boucheries; salad and wine from the épicerie; great whole grain bread and vegetables from the farmer's market.

Tip: shop early; the farmer's markets close when their fresh produce is sold out, usually by noon. All grocery stores close from 12 - 2 PM.

The French Cheeses and Your Strategies

"Americans think they have to try all the cheeses in one visit! This is not the French way." The French love cheese, and the older and stinkier the better, yet they don't consume large quantities and numerous kinds all at one sitting. With 340 different cheeses found in fromageries (cheese shops) with many shapes, colors, textures, and smells, temptation abounds. How are you going to cope? You'll never be able to try them all so don't even try. This takes some planning:

- Walk around the store, decide which cheese appeals to you, then buy a small slice (1 - 2 oz).

- Have a few meals using this technique and you'll be able to really taste and enjoy your favorite cheese as your main dish.

- Skip the butter, you won't need it.

- If cheese is served after your meal and you're feeling comfortably full, decline the cheese course. Rather decide to have cheese as a meal, you'll enjoy the fine taste more if you're not full.

Lunch Don'ts (or try once if you're "craving" it)

- Avoid cream based soups and the rich French onion soup, soupe á l'oignon or remove the croutons (drenched in butter) and cheese and enjoy the beauty of the soup.

- Bacon fat dressing in salads

- Paté de foie gras (liver).

- Cassoulet: a heavy stew made with lamb, pork sausage and duck fat contains few vegetables and is topped by breadcrumbs.

- Steak-frites (steak and fries).

- Tripe (stomach lining of a cow) and lapin (rabbit) may be served in a rich sauce.

- Frogs (taste like chicken), snails (taste like mussels), served with garlic butter sauce.

- Potato gratins - sliced potatoes with cream, butter and cheese.

- High fat marbled meats: Porterhouse, T-bone, prime-rib or rib eye cuts. Limit to 3-oz portions when you have no choice.

- Fortunately, all-you-can-eat buffets are no more than a thimbleful in France. If you end up here, choose ¾ light foods and ¼ anything else. No seconds.

- Sauces, gravies, butter, oil or mayonnaise.

- American-type establishments (large portions, lots of fat and sugar, and lots of processing).

Fast Food Don'ts:

- Ham and cheese omelets or crepes at a creperie stand: served without vegetables, the portion is generous.

- Pizza, there are no cheese-less pizzas. Requesting "light on the cheese, please" will be unsuccessful.

- Farmer's market, avoid high fat cheese pies, quiche and paella.

- Sandwiches on the streets: ham and cheese on baguettes, sometimes with gobs of butter.

- Creamed spinach and roast beef on bread.

Dessert Do's:

- The good news: dessert portions are small and less sweet than in the US.

- Ask for a piece of fruit, ½ cup flavored ice or a small slice of flan (fruit tart).

Dessert Don'ts:

- World-renowned chocolate mousse, crème brulée and crepe Suzette (thin pancake with an orange butter sauce).

Snack Do's:

- Fruit or nothing. Sorry, I know it's our hungry time but the French only snack on weekends. That's how they stay slimmer than us! When you eat a fruit, don't waste. You will notice the French eat an apple and practically clean the core. They take their time, enjoy each bite, and don't waste anything except the pits and the toughest of the core.

- 1% fat yogurt or fromage blanc (a white cheese) with 0% fat or 1% fat.

- A good strategy: coffee at a French café takes two hours - and that's to pay the bill, a large bill. If you're in a hurry or have a budget, order coffee at the counter. It's less expensive, the service is quicker, and a drink can stave off the desire to eat for a few hours.

- For a refreshing drink, order citron press, freshly squeezed lemon juice. Add one teaspoon sugar and water to taste.

- If you like tea, salon de thé's have herbal teas.

Snack Dont's:

- Don't snack. Most business people don't take an official break in the morning or afternoon. Snacks are for children only, when they come home from school in the afternoon.

- French pastries are only for special occasions. Although they look beautiful, their taste is less sweet and drier than we're used to, and of course the portions are tiny. After your initial curiosity is satisfied, you may find them easy to avoid. If not, walk quickly past the patisseries and confiseries, full of candy and ice cream.

- If you have a sweet tooth, the best you can do is eat like the French, decide on your favorite pastry and eat one on Saturdays or Sundays.

- Just thinking of these sweets will make your clothes feel tight. If you eat one, and cannot stop, avoid altogether.

Food-Frenzy

Americans eat for different reasons: they want to taste everything new, all at once, in a type of food-frenzy; many times ending in food coma. And they eat for reasons other than hunger: when stressed, depressed, lonely, tired and bored. These attitudes are strange to the French. They don't come to the US and try every type of food in one week just because that's all the time they have. They follow their eating habits at home and try a few new dishes.

The French also see no relationship to eating and boredom or stress. If they're, for example, bored, they read a book or go to a movie. They cannot comprehend why it has anything to do with food.

When in France, relax, try a few new foods, save the rest for your next trip, and eat only when hungry.

Dinner Do's

- Unfortunately, even if you feel like a light supper, you will see signs geared towards Americans: everything on the menu is in French, except for "Salad may not be eaten as a main course." This ruins your best intentions.

- Your strategy: Choose similar to lunch and leave the restaurant feeling comfortable enough to walk briskly for half an hour.

- If you're not hungry, don't finish your meal, choose light dishes and leave plenty behind. They may find it odd as they always finish their meal. No more "finish everything on your plate, people are starving" syndrome here.

- For lighter meals, cafes have 1/2 baguette sandwiches, vegetable soups or salads.

Dinner Don'ts

- Large meals late at night will make you feel uncomfortable and bloated and may result in heartburn.

- Avoid espresso at night if the caffeine interferes with your sleep.

Butter versus Olive Oil

In the North of France, butter is more popular, in the south, olive oil. By the way, oil has the same calorie value as butter. The benefits attributed to olive oil are due to its affect on the good cholesterol. Oil still consists totally of fat, so don't pour it all over your salads and bread.

Strategies for a Healthy Alcohol Attitude

With the wonderful, enticing wines and numerous choices of alcohol, a strategy definitely need to be in place to prevent over-consumption:

Strategy #1: Know alcohol recommendations:

One alcohol serving per day for women, two for men.

Strategy #2: Know serving sizes:

An alcohol serving equals 5-oz. wine, 1 ½-oz. liquor, 12-oz. beer or 2 glasses cider.

Strategy #3:

With 450 different wines and many of them the most famous in the world, don't attempt to taste as many as possible. Decide on a choice few.

Strategy #4:

Spend two hours nursing one drink, like the French. Decide whether you're going to have a drink before dinner, with the meal or after dinner.

Strategy #5: Alternate alcohol with water.

In restaurants, if a bottle of water is outrageously expensive, ask for tap water.

Strategy #6:

Saving your alcohol rations for the evening will ensure an afternoon full of energy instead of being sleepy.

Strategy #7:

Consider wine part of the meal, sipped slowly to enhance food, making dining a more complete experience.

Strategy #8:

If you've overdone alcohol on one day, avoid the next.

Strategy #9:

When wineries in the country offer free tastings, resist the temptation to overdo your quota.

On your bill, look for BC (boisson compris) meaning drinks included or BNC (boisson non-compris), drink not included.

French Drinking Choices

- Late afternoon, before dinner: an anise-based, licorice flavored aperitif such as pastis or pernod on the rocks or with water.

- With dinner: wine

- After dinner: cognacs and other brandies.

- No wine at parties. Instead beer, port, cocktails such as gin and tonic, vodka with fruit juice and fruit juice alone.

- Wine bars are becoming popular and snacks such as a plate of cheese may be served.

- Champagne is usually served at weddings, birthdays and Christmas.

- Kir Royale, champagne with a black currant (cassis) liqueur, is served at a reception before dinner and at ski resorts. Kir is similar except white wine replaces champagne.

The French drink about nine times more wine per person than Americans do (Berkeley newsletter). Wine-drinking trends are changing dramatically in France (New York Times), the proportion of French who drank wine daily in 1980 was more than 41%, and today it's 20%.

Alcohol Don'ts:

Don't overdo the drinking. Besides the expense, silly behavior and hangover the next morning, going above the recommended servings increases risk for liver problems, heart disease, high blood pressure, breast cancer and snoring.

Etiquette Do's

- Dress and etiquette rules are important to the French people and to you getting good service.

- Pack carefully for this trip. Everyone dresses well to go dining, even casually. Your level of sophistication will determine the way you are treated.

- When you've finished your meal, watch how the French place their knife and fork and copy. This will indicate you're done.

- The confusion about tipping is solved by the inclusion of 15% as a service charge in the bill (servis compris) plus change from the bill (around 10 FF) for good service.

- In the US, dinner is not necessarily included when you're invited to a party. In Paris, a party invitation includes dinner and a lot of work, so take flowers or chocolates. After dinner you need not offer to clean up, rather reciprocate with a dinner invitation.

"The first time I went to Paris with a noisy American tour group, the French treated us terribly. The second time I was a little older, dressed better and went with my two daughters who speak a little French, the difference was amazing. We were treated wonderfully."

Order politely

The French don't have the American motto "the customer is always right," especially if someone shouts a food order at them. You need to understand their position. If they came to the US and spoke to you in French and you didn't understand them, it wouldn't help for them to speak louder, you still won't understand them. And you'd be annoyed. What if 20 times a day, a French person yells at you, for 20 years? Wouldn't you get extremely annoyed and short-tempered? The way to overcome this problem is to speak in normal tones and be particularly gracious.

Etiquette Don'ts

- Don't look like a tourist who's not making an effort. It comes across as disrespect: no sneakers, jeans, shorts or plastic jackets should be worn in good restaurants.

- Don't talk about weight, exercise and dieting, particularly over a meal. It's considered a private affair.

- When someone is talking to you, stop eating and listen.

- Don't talk with food in your mouth

- Don't eat with your mouth open, while walking in the street or while talking on the phone.

- Don't chew gum when walking in the street.

- When shopping, don't touch the fruit or vegetables or your seller will have a fit, even if you intend to buy them. Ask first and point to the ones you intend to buy, you will then be helped.

- Don't ask for "doggy bags." They won't know what you mean and if they did, they'd be horrified.

- Don't put on lipstick at the table, go to the bathroom.

- Don't blow your nose at the table.

Fitness Do's

Plan ahead

Pack your workout gear depending on the activity you intend to do.

When you arrive, plan when you can be active. If you don't schedule time, you won't fit it in.

You can include a variety of activities in your fitness routine:

Walk:

Walk-walk-walk. Walking is the part of the French person's life. They walk a lot, walk everywhere and walk briskly. Watch them shop and you'll notice how fast they move. You don't want to drive in large cities. You can stay within the same city for days and never get bored because there are hundreds of streets to discover and shops, churches, cathedrals, chateaux and museums to visit.

When in Paris, buy a Plan de Paris city map guide or contact the French Government Tourist Office for walking tours. An adventurous idea is to spend half a day getting lost, then the other half finding your way back. Walk around one of the 20 Arrondissements (divisions) every day, including uphill to the Montmartre or Basilique du Sacre-Coeur, the highest vantage point in Paris.

After a two-hour walk, stop for a rest. The rest may last two hours if you stop for lunch or coffee. As mentioned, no one is in a hurry to serve you or collect the check. By the way, you need to ask for the check.

If you want a quick aerobic workout, take the stairs on the Metro.

Gym:

You may love the gym but because the French walk every day, they don't believe in exercising in a gym or jogging. Use the gym on a rainy day.

In Paris, local gyms are for long-term visitors only, the daily rates are prohibitive. If you are staying for a while and can afford their rates, be sure to take full advantage of their pools, aerobics classes, weights, and tennis.

Why not exercise in the comfort of your hotel room? Take exercise bands and do sit-ups, push-ups, stretches and lunges. The plus side is you can wear anything you like and shower right afterwards

Jog:

You can jog in the parks if you don't mind stares and cat calls. Jogging is difficult in the center of the city due to the traffic.

Hiking:

Go hiking in rural France. There are wonderful scenic routes in many regions. Families love to go hiking.

Biking:

"For seven days, all we saw on television was the bike race," said my parents, the week the bicycle Tour de France was on.

If you love biking, you'll be in your element. Drivers respect cyclists as biking is a national sport. Michelin maps will be very helpful to find your way around.

Either rent a bike or pack one for your flight as most airlines charge a little extra. Bike on the bank of rivers or canals. Just so you

know, you won't be able to bike in the heavy traffic in large cities and many hotels have no place to store a bike. Check ahead.

Tourists who choose to visit rural towns on a bicycle, have reportedly had a better time than the ones who spend most of their time sitting in a train or a bus.

I've had clients take biking tours through France who've gained weight. They couldn't resist all the social eating and drinking. Don't think activity can compensate for overindulgence.

Take a train ride out of the cities and you'll be in a countryside with elegant castles, quiet backroads and Roman ruins. Avoid the southeast coast - traffic is heavy, there's often no shoulder and drivers are paying more attention to the scenery than to cyclists. The season and region for biking are important. Spring and fall is best, in July and August roads are crowded. Southern regions are quite hot in summer; you'll probably be happier in a more northern region. In the winter, from November to March, the weather will be chilly but far less crowded.

Mountain climbing:

Contact the tourist bureau to find the best places.

Golf:

With over 200 golf courses, book your place and hire golf clubs.

Tennis:

Take your own racquet and be sure to reserve your time.

Skiing:

Wonderful downhill and cross-country skiing can be found in the Alps.

Swimming:

Ask Allo-sports where you can go. Some pools are open at night. Wearing a bathing suit will keep you motivated to eat well. A cover-up is necessary for walking in the streets.

Dance clubs:

This is a great workout if not crowded. A warning, dress well. You will be assessed through a peephole in the front doors. If you don't qualify, you won't be allowed in. When I first visited Paris, my outfit was not "cool" enough, so a designer from South Africa, gave me one of her couture outfits for the evening. We were ushered in well ahead of tourists.

Fitness Don'ts

· - Heavy workouts are considered bizarre and unnecessary; note the absence of joggers and gyms.

· -Sweating is distasteful.

· -When walking around, wear comfortable leather shoes. If you don't mind being spotted as an American tourist, wear sneakers.

· -It may be dangerous to jog in deserted areas after dark.

"It seems as though there is a large proportion of beautiful women in Paris, however much of this is due to them being slim, well-dressed and poised, rather than pure esthetics," said my older son, Elon on his return from Paris.

To really enjoy your stay in France, my philosophy is dress well, care about your appearance, and your self-esteem will increase. When you feel good about yourself, you'll try harder to eat well and keep active. Following all the tips in this chapter will make you Feel Fantastic every day in France, and return with a renewed "joie de vivre."

Written and researched by Maye Musk, MS, MS, RD